Lagniappe

Simply Southern





A Southerner

Southern Lady

A person born or living in the
South; gracious, easy-going,
slow-talking friendly folk devoted
to front porches, oak trees, cool
breezes, magnolias, peaches,
watermelon, and fried chicken.







Girls Raised in the South


Southern Belle

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
* Drinking straight out of a can.
* Not sending thank you notes.
* Velvet after February.
* White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.

Southern girls appreciate their natural assets:
* Dewy skin.
* A winning smile.
* That unforgettable, Southern drawl.

Southern girls know their manners:
* "Yes, ma'am."
* "Yes, sir."

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
* "Y'all come back!"
* "Well, bless your heart."
* "Drop by when you can."
* "How's your mother?"
* "Love your hair."

Southern girls don't sweat....they glisten

Southern girls know their summer weather report:
* Humidity
* Humidity
* Humidity

Southern girls know their three R's:
$ Rich
$$ Richer
$$$ Richest

Southern girls know their vacation spots:
* The Beach
* The Beach
* The Beach

Southern girls know the joys of June, July, and August:
* Summer tans
* Wide brimmed hats
* Adorable sandals

Southern girls know everybody's first name:
* Honey
* Darlin'
* Sugah

Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
* Gone With the Wind
* Steel Magnolias
*Driving Miss Daisy
*Fried Green Tomatoes

Steel Magnolia Southern girls know their religions:
* Baptist
* Methodist
* Football

Southern girls know their country breakfasts:
* GRITS
* Country ham
* Mouth-watering homemade biscuits

Southern girls know their P's & Q's:
* "P"ecan pie
* "P"ralines
* "P"unch

Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
* Nawlins'
* Atlanta
* Savannah
* Charleston
* Richmond
* Birmingham

Southern girls know their elegant gentlemen:
* Men in uniform.
* Men in tuxedos.
* Rhett Butler, of course.

Y'all know Southern girls are quick on the drawl...

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
* The Mall
* The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
* Bad hair
* Bad manners
* Bad blind dates

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are for-evah!

Bayou Girl






You Know You're From New Orleans If...

New Orleans

Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.

No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.

You get up in the morning and start a pot of rice to cooking before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.

Your loved one dies and you book a jazz band before you call the coroner.

You think the breeze from a flying roach feels good on a hot summer night.

Your accent sounds nothing like Harry Connick Jr's.

You can sing these jingles by heart: "Rosenberg's, Rosenberg's, 1825 Tulane" & "At the Beach, at the Beach, at Ponchartrain Beach...."

You were a high school graduate before you realized that Catholic and Public were not two major religions.

Your baby's first words are "long beads."

You ask, "How they running?" and "Are dey fat?", but you're inquiring about seafood quality and not the Crescent City Classic.

When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts than Super Doppler 6000.

Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and you don't care because you're No. 1 on the party chart.

Nothing shocks you. Period. Ever - not politics, hurricanes, red lights, parking tickets, the Saints, Mardi Gras.....

Being in a jam at Tulane and Broad isn't the same as being stuck in traffic.

Your idea of health food is a baked potato instead of fries with your seafood platter.

You have to take your coffee and favorite coffeemaker with you on a three-day trip.

You have sno-ball stains on your shoes.

You call tomato sauce "red gravy."

Your middle name is your mother's maiden name or your father's mother's maiden name or your mother's mother's maiden name or your grandmother's mother's maiden name or your grandfather's mother's maiden name.

You know you recycled too much newspaper when there isn't enough for the dinner (or crawfish) table.

You are going through customs and the agent asks you where you're from and you answer, "Gentilly."

You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them.

Your house payment is less than your utility bill.

You've done your laundry in a bar.

You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.

Catching "crabs" makes you smile.

You write "crookedpolitician" as all one word.

You know it's "ask" but you purposely say "ax".

You understand it when someone describes their favorite color as K&B purple.

You know how to mispronounce street names correctly. (Melpomene, Terpsichore, Chartes, etc...)

You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and not a disease.

You can "boo" the mayor on national television.

Beignets are the major cause of your gallstones.

You wear sweaters in October because it ought to be cold.

Someone asks you "Where you at?" and you tell them how you are.

You think of potholes as naturally occurring speed bumps.

Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw".

You suck the heads, sing the blues and you actually know where you got them shoes.

You shake out your shoes before putting them on.

You don't go buy groceries, you make groceries.

You know why you should never, ever swim by the Lake Pontchartrain steps (for more than one reason).

You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show.

You have to reset your clocks after every thunderstorm.

You waste more time navigating back streets than you would if you just sat in traffic.

You still call the Fairmont Hotel the Roosevelt.

You consider garbage cans a legal step to protecting your parking space on a public street.

You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans.

You ignore cockroaches because you know the only ones you could kill are the weak or infirm, and it would only serve to strengthen the breed.

You eat dinner out and spend the entire meal talking about all the other good places you've eaten.







A True Southerner


Born an AmericanAmerican
a LouisianaLouisianaSoutherner
by the Grace of God!



True Southerners know the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption.

True Southerners know how many fish make up a mess.

True Southerners can show or point out to you the general direction of yonderways.

True Southerners know exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

True Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

True Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold tater salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add some hot biscuits and nanner puddin' with nilla wafers.)

True Southerners know how good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

True Southerners know what, "Well I Suwannee!" means.

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece."

True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb --- and when somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

True Southerners know that rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

True Southerners know that rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.





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You Might be a Cajun If . . .

Cajun


Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.

You won't eat a lobster because you think it's a crawfish on steroids.

You take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for some Tabasco.

You pass up a chance to meet the president to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.

Your children's favorite bedtime story begins with, "First you make a roux..."

You're asked in school to name the four seasons and you reply, "Onyons, celery, bell peppers, and garlic."

You think the "Fab Four" are "Paul Prudhomme, John Folse, Justin Wilson, and A.J. Smith".

You let your black coffee cool and find it has jelled.

You describe a complete breakfast as some deer sausage, grits and a yard of boudin.

None of your favorite vacation spots are north of Abbeville.

You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and someone says, "Don't eat the dead ones" and you know what they mean.

You refer to Louisiana winters as "gumbo weather".

You gave up Tabasco for Lent.

You learned bourre' the hard way - holding yourself upright in the crib.

You don't know the real names of your close friends - only their nicknames.

You can look at a rice field and can tell how much gravy it'll take for that much rice.

You use your pirogue for an ice chest.

Someone yells duck, and you run to get your shootgun.

The only plant you have growing in your yard is rosezoes.

You name your dog & cat Boudreaux & Thibodaux.

If you can get to your best fishing spot in 15 min.

You wear your shrimp boots (Leeville keds) to church.

You travel by boat more then by car.

You live... up the bayou,...down the bayou,...or across the bayou.

You take your family trawling for a vacation.

Your school mascot was a fish.

You're able to fish crawfish off of your back (better yet - front) porch.

You think the head of the United Nations is Boudreaux-Boudreaux Guillory.

You have an "envy" for something instead of a cravin'.

You use a No. 3 washtub to cover your lawn mower or outboard in your yard.

You use a gill net to play tennis, badminton, or volleyball.

You use two or more pirogues (small boat) to cover your newly planted tomatoes to protect them from a late frost.

The horsepower of your outboard motor is greater than the motor in your car.

Your favorite TV talk show is Okra Winfrey.

Your description of a gourmet dinner includes the words "deep fat fried."

You describe a yard of boudin, and cracklings as "breakfast."

Your greet your long, lost friend at the Lafayette International Airport with "aaaa-eeeeeeeee!"

Your high school's rendition of the national anthem begins with, "Jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo..."

You stand up when they play "Jolie Blon."





Click Here for "Jolie Blon"




Ode to the Cajuns

What is a Cajun many people still do ask....
To supply one with an answer is not an easy task....
For a Cajun is the product of his heritage and this land....
As this way of life is granted through God's own hand.
From Acadia up north they were sent in exile....
Forced here to South Louisiana their fate to reconcile....
And reconcile they did and now they are so proud....
That praises to the Cajuns are shouted out loud.
From the swamps, bayous, marshes and the sea....
These people have hunted and fished, and lived free....
This mighty paradise so full of nature's treasures....
Is one that sustains and also gives us many pleasures.
But the people are the real resource you see....
For they are among the very best that can be....
These folks love their fun and really do care about you....
This is the accepted philosophy of the bayou.
Cajuns are a very unique people in every respect....
Just listen when they speak in their very own dialect....
They speak of the joy of living and what it's all about....
"Laissez les bon temps rouler" is what they all shout.
Let the good times roll is what this phrase means....
Its heard throughout South Louisiana down to New Orleans....
This Cajun and this culture is unique as you may find....
Why it is perhaps the best ever invented by mankind.

- Author Unknown






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